You work out of a Hotel?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
