Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
