no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
