i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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