At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
