Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
