so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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