The maid of honor just puked.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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