Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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