Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
