I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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