Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
