Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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