He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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