I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
