Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
