I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
