Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
