Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
