Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
