I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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