She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
