I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
