it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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