I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
