Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
