Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
