Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
