So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
