Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
