I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
