You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
