the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
40s are totally the cure
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
