Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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