I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
