first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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