Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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