where am i from again
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
