I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
