Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
