He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
