I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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