Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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