Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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