I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
