normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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