i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
