he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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