well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
