My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
