Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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