I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
handjob tips. give me some.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
