I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
