He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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